"So much of our work in learning to be whole is found in shrugging off expectations. Some fear that in doing so they will become lazy, slovenly, rude. But that’s the thing - if that’s their fear, then clearly their authentic self is someone who values hardwork, cleanliness or civility. Being true to that opens to door to inhabit those qualities while tolerating mess-ups and frankly, will probably make them more successful. Without any time to relax, we can burn out, which would really shoot a hole in productivity. Defining civility with absolute rigidity doesn’t sound very conducive to warmth and intimacy. It is in owning our values while also creating space for self-care that we become who we want to be and feel worthy as ourselves."